I never wanted the extras that much. I never cared for the things you got me... except chocolate. Because I have an unhealthy obsession with it. An obsession I wish I could control.
Honestly, if you could just be there for when it counts, that would make me think it's good enough. I don't want frilly things just durable items. A few precious ones to grab and treasure for good. It's not much, is it?
You turned me into a hoarder running away from you. You've burdened me and hurt me.
Now, this loneliness that you will soon experience, you will feel it in your bones. The quietness you can't endure. The need for constant television blabbering hubbub. The cynicism you harbor against the world, against the non-Asians, and males.
Will you realize? Won't you learn?
Too old. Too damn old to humble yourself. Too damn stupid to crack your mind a smidgen.
Peace on Earth will never be uniform until Kingdom comes.
Monday, November 03, 2014
Hearing your heart beat was comforting.
Then it went faster and faster as I scratched in circles on your torso inching my way to the centre.
I became quite concerned as your heart thumped so loudly in my ear and it felt so hot I thought you were going to have a heart attack. You jumped, "I need some water." As you twisted your terrible single-use water bottle. Terrible. It makes you a terrible person.
But not terrible enough to not spend the night with. Not terrible enough to not kiss. Not terrible enough to not get a taste.
Ah, well. It was satisfactory.
It was a learning experience. It will always be.
But I wonder what you were thinking. I'm so curious. I want to know.
And I want to be with you more often.
Until I hate you. Which wouldn't take too long. I always end up hating people I come to know very well. There are always plenty of flaws in Homo sapiens. Not enough God-inspired love to last a lifetime. Not enough naïveté to forgive forever.
I wonder if we'd be a good match. Ha-ha, who would match well with me? I can't stand anyone for long.
It's always worth a try, I think.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
I slept three hours. 6-8.30 a.m. Then came the question of morality. I wondered if it would justify my intentions. I wondered if it would make me look bad. I wondered if we would work out. Would we? Be compatible? What are you like? I craved for human touch. In my intoxication, I was comforted by her hand. It felt so good. It made me feel well. I was sad. I was in despair. I was cheap.
Now I am awake. Aware. But still longing. Can I have you? Can I wait? Do you like me? I wish I knew. You're nice. Sweet. Soft-spoken. Caring.
The perfect ingredients in making the perfect man.
Life goes on. People pass by. We may meet again or
we may see others.
We could be cool, cool, cool.
Let's be cool.
Better cool than cold.
And I wish you favor.